:: Alicia Askenase

two from SCRAPBOOK


Mush Makes Work of Relaxing¹
UPYR´S Press

Bunkerport, ME!
Resident User began at dawn
on the gulf curse but is not
known as a gopher. This tumultuous
summer, though, Mr. Busted has
been playing gulf a lot, with his
father, and a club.


The Resident plays to relax and to
forget his office, whether it be the
economy or the Middle East. "My
job is to get myself away from all
that".

But sometimes ´business´ intrudes on
the green, and before starting his
blame yesterday, Mr. User, his driver
in his left gloved hand, took a second
for a photo op and condemned a
suicide bombing of a bus in Israel.

"I call upon all nations to do
everything they can to stop these
turrist killers". And then said,
"Thank you. Now watch this drive."

Without the slightest pause, Mr. Fuss
turned to his game, let out a sigh of
relief. "Hard this early in the
morning to loosen up," he said and
denied Gulf performance anxiety,
telling reporters I was simply "trying
to get out of the House."

Like his Residency, Mr. Gush´s Gulf
has its roots in family history. Long
ago in a great ´heroic moment´
Grandfather kept the local Gulf club
afloat during its "difficult World
War II days", when 5 of its 18 holes
were plowed to grow needed crops.

"Those were very hard times, I
mean it´s much more harder for total
recall when the wealthy are deprived
because their used to teeing off on
time".

A spokesman said of the resident,
"This Resident has two priorities: to
excel as an athlete and to play
quickly,"

Let´s Get This Right²
UPYR´S Press

"My pro-life position is I believe
there´s life. It's not necessarily based
in religion. I think there´s a life
there, therefore the notion of life,
liberty and pursuit of
happiness."--George W. Bush . . . San
Francisco Chronicle, Jan. 23, 2001

An "official" said he wants to
"protect the ability of the president
and the vice president to get
unvarnished advice from any source
we want." "These are higher ups,
executives in other voids, they want
things Varnished and other things
Vanished," said the spokesmaker
from a SUV limo.

"It" contended that that pinko Kerry-
McCain bill would cost thousands of
jobs, deprive consumers of the cars
they want to drive, and compromise
safety by forcing manufacturers to
make "unsightly" smaller, lighter
vehicles.

"This is still America," said
the then Senate Minority Leader Lott
who illustrated his point with a
pointer toward a broadside of a
bright purple Foreign-made minicar.
"Ugh!" he groaned with apparent
emotion, "Look at Exhibit A, would
you want to be caught dead in this
vehicle?"

"We should be able to make our own
choices. We are pro-choice about
the unborn car. We shouldn't have
the federal government saying you´re
going to drive the purple people
eater here. We allow for the right of
a driver to choose."


¹Based on "Bush Makes Quick Work of Relaxing," The New York Times, August 5, 2002, by Elisabeth Bumiller

²Also based on a New York Times article, exact information unknown.


© Alicia Askenase 2003

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